Silence

On my way to school on Friday, I was running a little bit later than I usually am. Around 7:50 a.m. is when most of the radio stations are playing commercials and no music. While I am driving, I love to listen to music; not commercials. I seem to have a better day when I can let out some emotion in the morning by singing loudly to an audience of one. Usually my sister accompanies me on the drive to school and sings along with me.
There always has to be some song on the radio, even if it is a totally random one that we don't know. A random song beats commercials any day. But on Friday, there was not even a random song to be found on any station. I searched desperately for anything that even resembled a song, like a commercial jingle such as "Five dollar...five dollar...five dollar foot long...", but still nothing. Becoming increasingly frustrated, I turned the volume of the radio down altogether.

And then there was silence.

I began to think about this over the weekend. Silence. It's a strange phenomenon that rarely occurs anymore. Even now as I sit in Panera, there is constant noise. Background music...the rustling of a newspaper...the hum of a refrigerator...voices of conversations...the clinking of a fork. Are these noises all necessary? No. Yet they are all present. Why? People like to hear sounds; they don't like the uncomfortable feeling that comes with silence. They want something to occupy their mind other than their thoughts. But what is so terrifying about being alone with your own thoughts?
I think being alone with your thoughts gives you the chance to examine your life. Examining your life can lead to finding flaws about it. Finding flaws about it can lead to wanting to fix those flaws. And wanting to fix those flaws will force us to admit that our life is not perfect and we don't have it all together. We don't want to seem vulnerable on the outside, even though we are on the inside. This fear of being exposed as vulnerable has us scared to death of being alone with our thoughts and taking those first steps to improving our flawed lives. In the words of James Thurber, "Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation." We are so desperate to avoid finding flaws in ourselves that we fill up available meditation time with useless noise.
I have started to take time every day to just sit in silence. My busy life has little room for a time of meditation or taking a break to do absolutely nothing. But since I have started to utilize the gift of silence, I have come to appreciate it more. Some may view it as a thing that should be avoided like the plague. But I feel as if everyone should take the time to enjoy a little silence every once in a while. Maybe then, more people would be turning down their radios and thinking about their lives.

Then there would be silence.